Repentance

Repentance looks very different from person to person. Sin is sin, period. But only God knows what is in my heart and yours. It is always about our motivation.

For example:
If I bake you a cake because I love you and want to show you kindness, and I truly expect nothing in return from you (not even your appreciation), it's an act of love. 
If I bake you a cake because I am desperate for your approval and I hope I can win your affection by pleasing you, then it is a self-serving act of idol-worship. That's not an overstatement.
If I bake you a cake because I want to make you feel like you owe me something in return, it is now a self-serving act of manipulation and control.

Thinking about this made me consider how often we comment on each other's spiritual maturity based on the fruit that we think we see.  I realized that I should probably keep my "diagnosis" of somebody else's growth to myself, because I probably don't know what I am talking about!

Repentance looks different for everyone. 
If a woman is usually a doormat, it may be that God truly wants her to speak up when the group is making a decision about where to eat. For her to politely say, "No, I don't want to eat at that restaurant" may actually be a difficult thing for her to do. To an outside observer, it may seem like nothing, but her action would please God if it was from a heart that trusted Him and obeyed Him. God would smile on her decision to make a change in her behavior in order to grow into the confident woman of God He wants her to be!
If a woman who is always bossing people around and making sure everyone knows her opinion was in the same conversation, God might prompt her to keep quiet and let somebody else decide where to eat.  What if she ignored Him and decided to politely say, "No, I don't want to eat at that restaurant" anyway? God not be pleased at her decision, because she chose to serve herself instead of obey Him.

Their outward action was the same, but God can see their hearts. One of them submitted to Him; one of them sinned against Him. We wouldn't be able to accurately judge, based on what we saw or heard, what was in the heart of each woman. Only El Roi, the God who sees, can do that.

I'm not your Holy Spirit. It really bugs me when people try to be mine. As a deacon's wife, I'm in a position where I may be judged more quickly by outside observers. I am not a stranger to hearing what somebody thinks I have done wrong, or what they think I should do now. I've been told to stop trying to run from my past, only to turn around and hear that I need to stop living in the past.  It's really up to God and me, what I do with my memories and my past.  It is healthy to reflect on where you have been, the choices you have made, and the way people in your life have treated you.  Then, at some point, it is healthy to move on. God knows when we get to that point, and God will walk each of us through that experience.

It is really a "rule of thumb" we can apply to anything.  Baking cakes, eating lunch with friends, or meditating on our lives.... our motivation is what matters to God, and He is the only one who knows our motivation.  



1 Samuel 16:7 
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”


Matthew 7:1-5 
Do not judge so that you will not be judged.  For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

Luke 6:37 
Do not judge, and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Pardon, and you will be pardoned.